Youji as Kamisama?
by Yorugami Ahou
Summary: After a crash course in life and death. Youji wakes up to find himself as...KAMI-SAMA? @.@


Title: Youji as Kami-sama?  
Author: FalconIce  
Pairings: None  
Genre: Humor  
Disclaimer: I don't own nothin not even the computer I'm using. ;.;  
Notes: Just go and read it and don't 4get 2 review, kapish?  
  
#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#  
  
The night was dark, rain pattering at the ground, making the usually stable footing slippery and treacherous. Feelings were in the air, feelings of fear, of darkness were all around him. Oppressing and heavy that were the terms the perfectly summarized the aura of the night that was around him. It engulfed him in these feelings as he made his way down the cold dark streets with only the his own feet slowly carrying him away but not really escaping from the clutches of the night.  
  
He didn't know exactly where everything began-or ended. It just did and he knew that no matter how it would have happened that everything was his fault. No-it just wasn't right that he was still alive after everything else he'd ever known was dead. Dead and buried like ashes of a long gone age. It was heart wrenching but even the most evil of them all ended just like the others. It was so unfair that life brought him this hand, this hand of fate which ended all-good or bad.  
  
He knew deep down that he was running away from everything. Who could blame him? How could someone want to stay at the sight of the corpse that had been their entire life. It just wasn't so-no matter how strong.  
  
His legs finally found that they could no longer support him. He found himself slumped against one mossy and smelly alley wall, the rain pelting at his form trying its hardest to wash the evil and the depression that was him. Yes-that was what he was-evil and depression rolled into one. How could he be not? Everything that ever made him good or bad was gone. There was no sense of living anymore.  
  
He slowly ran a hand through his limp locks and managed to wring out a bit of moisture futile as it was since the rain just replenished however much he managed to let flow. How can life be so unfair? How could it just hit him so hard? Why him? Had he done so much bad that he deserved to be completely erased from fate's History?  
  
Fists pounded the floor beside him. Everything....gone like the wind. Just went up in smoke and flew away leaving him high and dry. He could've died with them but no-he just had to live. Live this misery that was called his life or whatever was left of it.  
  
It wasn't surprising that he couldn't cry. He had cried himself out long long time ago. Ages before this had happened but for some odd reason, he felt that he should-cry himself out that is. It just seemed that today seemed more important that the petty reason he cried for long ago. But he guessed that Asuka was worth it-no matter how shitty he felt right now-but then again was worse, his old love life or his life PERIOD?  
  
If it was even a logical choice to begin with...  
  
Youji looked at the black leather covering his hands. They were looking quite beaten up considering the fact that they've just gone through hell and live they were actually looking quite well. The buckles and straps were now basically falling apart at the seams and the leather around the parts where his wire usually was were now all cut up and covered with his life's blood. It was sad really-he'd pain so much for the pair and now there they were, a mute testimony of the hell that had become his life.  
  
He fisted his hands making the scraps of leather creak.  
  
Funny how everything just looked all black and blue right now. He smirked and rested his head on the alley wall behind him.  
  
Aya gone.  
  
Omi dead.  
  
Ken lost forever.  
  
He chuckled and snorted to himself at the irony that was had become the path he was on.  
  
Taketori/Estet crumbled.  
  
Schwartz gone just like his teammates.  
  
Kritiker in shambles and falling to its doom quickly.  
  
He should just laugh and laugh until he died. At least he's be going to the place where everyone he knew had gone. It was all irony really that during the explosion and there wasn't much left of what they had been.  
  
The plan had succeeded too well. Both of theirs ironically. Schwarts blew up the meeting where all of Kritiker's biggest honchos had been and at the same time, Weiss had killed every Taketori. It was really funny how they both failed when their plans had gone so well. It was just him that survived. Funny really-the reason. Before the whole thing blew up he'd been standing near a window having a good smoke when the whole building exploded and he got thrown out the window he'd been leaning on and into a comfortably placed trash dumpster which ironically shielded him from the chaos around him. Too bad it was only him that got saved.  
  
Oh, he was too sure that it was only him that lived. He'd gone though the whole sight time and time again and he'd seen what remained of the people that were once his teammates. Hands, feet, and even heads.  
  
He scrunched his eyes and shuddered. He'd seen the once so emotionless face of Aya looking so peaceful as half his head rolled out from one of the collapsed building's beams.  
  
There was no doubt that they were dead. None whatsoever. He' had buried what was left of them and moved on-strangely numb at the time. Then-that was when he passed by the electronics shop and saw the report of a building that had gone up in flames earlier that day. Oh, he would've barely gave it a glance if it wasn't for the camera panning over four familiar figures half under dirty white sheets. Schwartz as dead as Weiss and the building none other than Kritiker's. Irony of ironies.  
  
And there in the middle of it was him, alive as ever. Yet, he couldn't help but wonder why the all knowing oracle of Schwartz wasn't able to predict his own death? But then, there was a belief that when it came to the premonist's own death that the window to the future was closed to them. It probably was...for him.  
  
He opened his eyes and stared at nothing for a while.  
  
It was too weird. The coincidences ending both Kritker and Estet at the same time. Too weird. Who had set up the bombs right under two of the top crime and assassination companies' noses.  
  
He chuckled again. He vaguely noted that it sounded rather sad and pitiful. Almost forced.  
  
He looked up to stare at the empty alley walls again and was surprised to find his vision blocked by a body. A living breathing body.  
  
"Youji Kudou?" A light tenor voice floated down towards his disbelieving ears. And here he thought that nobody was alive that would know him.  
  
He blinked vivid pools of green at the stranger-speechless.  
  
"This must come at an inconvenient time but it cannot be helped. The council has summoned you." The stranger continued leaving a shocked Youji gaping like an out of water fish.  
  
"This is just great. Not only am I still alive. I've gone nuts as well." He smirked and started to laugh hysterically." Oh hi mister dark and shadowy! Its nice to meet you! Yes, my name is Youji Kudou last time I checked. Oh and the council you say? They summoned me? How nice!" He couldn't stop himself from laughing even though his stomach hurt and he couldn't breathe anymore. His mind was finally breaking-finally; he'd been waiting for it to happen after all.  
  
"Oh dear..." Was the last thing he heard before passing out cold from the lack of air.  
  
~@~@~@~@~  
The first thing he noticed upon awakening was that he was remarkably dry. After all, he had feinted in an alley in the middle of nowhere under the rain. The most surprising other than that he was dry was the fact that he was not in said alley in the middle of nowhere under the rain but instead he was lying down on what could be the most expensive looking bed he'd ever seen in his entire life.  
  
It looked to be made from the finest redwood and carved with pictures of falling leaves by an artist that he was sure-had been a genius of his time. The black sheets he was on were of the finest silk he'd felt and the room he was in looked more like what he would've expected a room in a royal castle would look like. All stone walls, torches, and huge draperies over equally huge windows.  
  
Yup, he told himself, he'd finally cracked and his mind was now as dead as his world. I mean, everything shouldn't all be this nice and peachy after what had happened. Besides, where in Japan do you find a Medieval Castle? It just was not possible!  
  
Just then, the door to his quote and unquote medieval room opened and in came the most shocking being to have ever graced his presence to date.  
  
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!????!!!!" He yelled and scrambled up into his bed and as faraway form the thing as he could get.  
  
The thing? Well, what else would you call an orange colored blob/slime/goop wearing a lacy apron and bearing a breakfast tray?  
  
"Master Kudou? Are ye unwell?" How it managed to speak without any distinct vocal cords was beyond Youji's hysterical thinking at the moment.  
  
"IF SEEING A BLOB TALK CAN BE CALLED WELL THEN I'M CERTAINNLY FINE!" He screeched and tried to find ways of bolting out the room but sadly, his only escape-the door-was blocked by said speaking blob/slime/goop.  
  
"Oh." Blinked-it it could be called that-the goop. "I'll call Omo-sama but while I do that you should eat something. I'll leave this here." It smiled-what could be called an equivalent of a smile, Youji thought-and left the breakfast tray on the table beside his bed. It then left the room which the chestnut haired man found all too quiet and empty for his liking.  
  
Maybe he was just in a mental ward and he'd just screeched at an orderly/nurse and it was now going out to find a doctor to sedate him. Oddly, he found the thought rather comforting. It was after all, saner than actually having to deal with a real blob/slime/goop talking.  
  
He slowly made his way to the breakfast tray and smiled, well if he was going to spend the rest of his days insane might as well live the rest of it happily. That was what the insane were most famous for after all.  
  
Smiling, he ate his breakfast happily and contentedly feeling oddly joyous. Insanity can be bliss. At least, his brain made him wake up in such a beautiful bed and even if the orderly/nurse was a blob it didn't look that bad. It was even funny-he thought and chuckled to himself. His fantasy world wasn't so bad really. Just that he'd never thought his brain was this imaginative. Oh well, might was well enjoy the rest of his insane life.  
  
He was just starting on his bacon when the door opened and in came the most beautiful man he'd ever seen. Well, at least it wasn't another blob, he thought to himself.  
  
Long silver hair flowed like a living cloak behind him almost reaching all the way to the floor. Hair shouldn't be that light but the man's seemed like it was lighter than silk. Flowing behind him like a veil of metallic iridescence. His features were feminine with high cheekbones and regal features. His body was lean and oddly too graceful to Youji's eyes. Nothing could walk that graceful-even Aya couldn't seem...to flow as he walked.  
  
The man was wearing a tight bodysuit-not exactly leather, cloth, or plastic. It was an odd contrast to his medieval thinking. Maybe he just never gave his brain enough credit on the imagination department.  
  
"How are you feeling Kudou-san?" The man smiled and slid to sit down next to him almost like liquid mercury in movement.   
  
Green eyes blinked.  
  
"Flan told me you were acting somewhat irrationally." The man said giving him a questioning look with silver hued eyes.  
  
"So Flan is the nurse/orderlies name huh?" Youji asked and bit into the toast in his hand while meeting the man's eyes at the same time.  
  
But it seemed they weren't connecting as well as Youji thought." Oh...Flan's not a nurse or an orderly and you certainly aren't in a mental ward." The man grinned before continuing," You're not insane at all...maybe just a little too hysterical at first but other than that you're fine. It's even surprising that you've managed to accept this so well."  
  
The chestnut haired man blinked.  
  
"I'm not insane?" Youji asked. The man shook his head, still smiling.  
  
"This is not a mental ward?" Another shake.  
  
"You're not a doctor here to sedate me?" Still another shake.  
  
"Am I dead then?" A small frown and another shake of the head.  
  
Youji blinked and finished the last of his toast." Then where in the whole universe am I?" He concluded.  
  
The man smiled and chuckled." You're home." Youji rolled his eyes-the man just had to generalize.  
  
"Home as in?" He waved a hand indicating that the man should continue.  
  
"You're home-as in the place that you grew up in." The silver haired one stated exasperatingly.  
  
Youji squashed the urge to slap his forehead and roll his eyes" The place I grew you was a dump in the slums of Japan. After all, the whore that was my mother couldn't exactly afford anything better..." Green eyed Silver.  
  
"But Kudou-san, you don't have parents!" Protested the silver haired man looking-weird as it was-prettily distressed.  
  
He raised an eyebrow in response." How can I be born without parents?" He asked sarcastically and took another toast from the breakfast tray.  
  
"Why...All immortals don't have parents!" Chimed the man happily," They're born from the void of chaos and live relatively forever!"  
  
Youji narrowed his eyes and munched a little annoyed at the toast he was eating. No one should be that happy. "Ah...how very informative." He drawled out sarcastically and rolled his eyes." Then if I am this so called immortal, care to enlighten me why I was in quote and unquote Earth?"  
  
The man frowned and sighed." You wanted to feel how men lived. You said that theirs was a pitiful lot and you wanted to see exactly how bad it could be..." The man sighed yet again and looked at him eyes suddenly sad. "It was horrible-the things happening to you-and the council of elders didn't want to see you suffering so much so they ended the life loop."  
  
Suddenly, Youji felt angry. Very very angry. "WHAT?" Startled, the man shrunk in his seat looking like a child about to be beaten.  
  
"Um..." The man stuttered," you could bring back your friends if you just concentrate...I never thought that this life thread could wipe out this much memory..." The last was more to himself than to addressed to Youji.  
  
Gaining control of his emotions, the chestnut haired man sighed patiently," Explain."  
  
"Well...men aren't exactly the hardest things to resurrect-having only a 100 year or so lifespan...Um, just close your eyes and think about them being alive and in front of you. That should work!"  
  
It was crazy, but hey, if it would work that would be GREAT! So, no matter how insane it was, he closed his eyes and imagined everyone there. Weiss and Schwartz. Why both? For some odd reason he felt like gloating about this newfound powers? Life? Blah?   
  
A small odd popping sound and when Youji opened his eyes, there in front of him were the Weiss and the Schwartz looking odd in dirty looking/ripped clothes in the middle of such a nice and pristinely clean room.  
  
His first reaction was to laugh.  
  
Their first reaction was surprised then confused then annoyed.  
  
"Kudou, what is the meaning of this?" Oh, the ever eloquent Aya.  
  
"YOUJI!" Omitchi ever so childlike.  
  
"Love the digs Kudou but what the hell are we doing here?" Surprising how the redhead's voice could sound so comforting.  
  
"Fujimaya. What is the meaning of this?" Crawford-the bastard as usual. Treating me like I wasn't even there.  
  
"Confusion hurts God!" Lick Lick. Ugh, Youji didn't know why he even bothered.  
  
"WHERE THE HELL?" Kenken, oh so immature.  
  
"Brad-san? Where are we?" Nagi was always the quiet kid.  
  
"Be careful Kudou-san, they will remember their deaths soon. You should try to-"  
  
The room seemed to be plunged into silence as the people which found themselves in the middle of my medieval room stilled. Eyes seemingly glazed and bodies all of a sudden weak. They were still standing but it seemed that their legs couldn't hold them anymore and the scariest thing was, their features contracted from abject terror to hopeless resignation.  
  
"I'm dead." Aya.  
  
"It finally happened." Brad.  
  
"Is this heaven?" Omi.  
  
"Well, at least I went out with a bang..."Ken.  
  
"Wasn't too bad." Schuldich.  
  
"Death hurts GOD!" lick lick. Youji rolled his eyes.  
  
"I'd never thought it would feel like this..." Nagi.  
  
It was then that Youji found himself under the gaze of the redhead that had been Weiss' leader. Funny, how Aya didn't look so scary anymore.  
  
"How come you get to be in bed and dressed when we're here looking like this?" He accused but oddly, his eyes weren't quit as hard and his tone wasn't quit as sharp.  
  
"Well...You're not dead anymore." I reasoned out and took a bite from the toast.  
  
"Balinese. Explain further." Brad was always so demanding. Youji wondered why.  
  
"Technically you could now call me a God-the human definition o fit anyway-and I've gone and decided to resurrect the lot of you." He smiled and finished his buttered toast.  
  
"Great. Youji's A GOD!" Schuldich rolled his eyes and pulled up a chair to sit on." That's just sick! I should've gone to hell it might've been more believable than this."  
  
"Is that true Yotan?" How Omi's eyes could still look so innocent Youji would never know-God or not.  
  
"EEEWWWWW!!! Youji's Kami-sama?" Ken's face scrunched up and he was turning such a funny shade of green that Youji couldn't help but laugh. This was just too rich!  
  
"That brings me to the point." The green eyed man turned to the pretty male still beside him," Exactly how many immortals are there?"  
  
Silver eyes blinked." Just ten why?"  
  
"So who's the oldest?"  
  
"You."  
  
"That technically makes me-"  
  
"Most powerful."  
  
"I guess that's nice."  
  
Youji turned to the motley crew in front of him and thought he'd practice some of his powers on them...if he had any that is.  
  
In a blink of an eye, the Weiss and Shwartz were dressed in women's clothing. Shimmery gowns as well as matching women's undergarments.  
  
"YOUJI!" Came the chorus of not quit angry voices.  
~@~@~@~  
  
It took a little more time to calm everyone down and to brief them with everything Youji had been informed on. The silver haired man's name had actually been Omo but Youji hadn't been paying attention so hadn't known until the man himself had said so.  
  
The two former assassin groups had mixed reactions on everything. Some accepted, some were annoyed and the others ecstatic.  
  
"Must hurt Youji! Youji is God!" lick lick. Some just don't change.  
  
"Fate has a sick sense of humor." Aya intoned followed by a snort of agreement from Bard. Who would have thought the two would get along so well. Hm, must be the identical sticks up their asses, Youji thought to himself with a chuckle.  
  
" I think I was better off dead. At least, everything would look so much simpler." The other redhead drawled as he stared at Youji from across the room where he was seated." Of all people to be the Great Almighty it just had to be you!" Schuldich grumbled and started to mutter under his breath about how demented the universe was and that life must be someone's idea of a joke-when he'd said that, the redhead had mysteriously glanced his way somewhat accusingly.  
  
Ken and Omi were in another corner of the room. The youngest Weiss was trying his hardest to comfort a really green looking Ken who was just looking glazed and shocked at the same time. Youji could distinctly hear " Youji is KAMI-SAMA?" being muttered under Ken's breath. Nagi was surprisingly helping Omi out, would wonders ever cease?  
  
Having finished his breakfast earlier, Youji was now contenting himself under the warmth of the bed covers. It seemed all too unreal to him just then. So new and surprising. Not to mention the fact that he was weirdly ecstatic with joy that everyone was alive again. He'd been observing them interacting and to tell the truth. It was damn HILARIOUS! 


End file.
